consistent inconsistency

trying new things and not being grumpy

The long overdue Canada move update post is still pending, but I think it's been blocking me from writing anything. So - it is coming, but I've been thinking a lot recently (as I adapt to a new place and have to try new things) that I need to chill out about trying new things. It's not like I'm actively afraid of it, but I find often there's an activation energy to doing it that I struggle to get over. I think it's feeling like I need to be actively engaged in something new, which feels like effort, so I don't.

It also feels linked to how grumpy I've been finding myself recently. I don't think it's a lot, but it's more than I like. And again, I think it stems from feeling tired, and not wanting to put the effort in to being upbeat and engaging with things.

I watched Cinema Therapy's video on My Neighbour Totoro, and they talked a lot about the parenting from the father. The real point that stuck with me was how much time and energy he has for his daughters, and how that must take so much energy. I don't want to be a grumpy old dad who has no energy to play and be excited by his children! And if I'm finding myself low on energy and not engaging with things now, how am I going to do it when I'm older?

I think a few things help me: getting enough sleep and exercise (shock! horror!) and also an offline system for keeping lists of things I want to try. I think I'll have a think about how to do it, and then make it a resolution or a yearly theme.

tags: self

permalink | posted by nathan on Thursday, the 23th of December, 2021, when he should have been sleeping